Hoping the end...is just the beginning...

So many nights and Saturday mornings for years...waiting for the moment when I would hear his name announced over the speaker during high school games...and here it is.  I reminded him to give it his all and to cherish every moment because this year ends an era.  As weird as this may sound..it is a grieving time for me.  Football has been a way of life for us...for twelve years.  I can't imagine how he must feel...to say goodbye to himself as the football player and work to re-define himself in his eyes...in everyone's eyes.  To me...there is always the high maintenance little boy who couldn't eat generic oatmeal or pop-tarts or macaroni and cheese...the one who climbed in my bed after a scary movie...and slept on the floor in my room after Matt and I got married.  The talking that never stopped, and the singing...and the arguing his point until you just gave up...there was the avoidance of the news because his sensitive heart couldn't take it...and his love of shoes and the joy in his heart...and his smile and the little notes he wrote me telling me I am the best thing in his life and that he loves me so much...he is that same kid, but different because he's a young man now making his own choices and we all adjust to his wishes, even if we had different ideas, because we only want to see the light shining in his eyes...because to see him happy fills us up, all the way...so we mourn an end while we wait patiently for what comes next...and we remind ourselves to cherish every moment of every game, every touchdown, everything about this final year.  My son...

Dreams...

Rocco couldn't sleep last night...so we re-located to cuddle in the guest room.  I just started to doze off when I hear Rocco tell me that everything looked green.  I looked around confused..it's just dark, I don't see any green I tell him.  Then he says, "I love dreams because they make everything beautiful-er."  Are you dreaming Rocco?  "Yes."

To think that I may have put him back to bed and missed that moment...

If he only knew that he makes my real-life world beautiful-er....