Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Friends and daughters...

Blogging...it's weird.  Does anyone really take the time to read these?  So this year has been strange and wonderful and sad all at once.   Ironically, losing my dad opened up a door to my past that I thought might be closed forever.  I have reconnected with those people from the past that helped to shape the person I am today, those people that left lasting imprints in my memory of joy, laughter, heartache and good times.  My girls from high school...I look back and wonder how I ever lost touch with those 3 amazing friends.  We vowed to be best friends forever...I guess part of it was my own decision.  You make decisions that your friends might not support and you feel  it and maybe you pull away without knowing that you are doing it.  I know I changed and that the decisions I made will never be regretted but yet...how would life be different?  I am grateful for them, for them then and for them now.  Through the years their words echoed in my mind so many times...memories of them forced their way in and made me smile or cringe or laugh.  Watching my Olivia become a teenager and act silly with her friends posed the question...did I act like that?  The answer was an astounding YES!  I reflect often on the sneaky things we did to assert our independence...and when Olivia can't stand to be home and I want to feel sad about that, I remember those girls and how much I needed them, how much I wanted to just be with them and how happy and safe I felt with them.  Then, I can look at my little girl and know that this is her time...to create amazing relationships and friendships, that will no doubt shape the woman she becomes and I have the knowledge that it will come full circle...and someday she will come back to me just like I did with my momma.

3 comments:

Suzy J said...

I read them! Then I cry and laugh and smile! I read a book that I thought was kinda lame but I loved the title! It was called "Almost Sisters, the company of good women" That describes my girl friends (and sister in laws) I am in the company of Great women. I say often that when the crap hits the fan they are the people who pick up the pieces nobody else wants to touch. I love you and Livvy Latin Lou!

Anonymous said...

I read them. I check them daily, try to update mine daily. It depends on my mood really. My latest post was a dedication to my dad because today is the 3 year anniversary of his death. Love you girl and the year will only get better! Olivia is freaking awesome! And I still have my best friends from junior high and high school. I added one since, but she is from college, but I have 5 best friends and that's all I need. They know the ins and outs about me, we have gotten yelled at by parents together, giggled until we almost peed, everything a typical teen does. And I miss it more than anything. I wish I could go back and change things in my life, spend a lot more time with my dad, even though I spent a LOT of time with him then, just so much, but things happen for a reason that we cannot explain, yet.

Chubz said...

Thanks for reading...it's funny because even if no one read them, sometimes it's nice to just put your thoughts down...muah!