Tuesday, March 1, 2011

These are my confessions...

1. I have an emotional attachment to sugar.  Soda, chocolate, candy, cake, ice cream, cookies...it has been my constant companion and it has never let me down.
2. I am two semesters away from my masters degree in Social Work.  I want to finish, but I have ZERO interest in doing social work.  Been there, done that and this is what I learned...some people just have a different idea of "normal" and they don't want help.  It is draining and exhausting work because I just used to work harder than my clients.  No thanks!
3. I LOVE the college vibe and that is the only reason I would finish.
4. If I ever work outside of the home again, it will be at a little shop with cute stuff and require very little effort.
5. I feel lost because I have no clue about my ancestors and my lineage on both sides.  I sometimes wish I came from a big annoying Greek family that all live near each other and that get together for every event no matter how small and celebrate with a huge meal and talk about visiting the motherland.  (sounds like a movie)
6. I have OCD.  I can trace it back to my childhood.  It was an escape from stress, tension and fear.  I count  the edges of things over and over.  Once, I started counting the edges of my ceiling fan and I just blanked out with my thoughts and my counting...when I "came to" I was up to 600.  That is just..wow...I convinced myself that I went from 20 to 520.
7.  After my little brother Jeremy died, my life became one big worry after another.  Before he died, I lived in an ignorant sort of bliss.  I felt untouchable and safe.  Those days are long gone...I am now in a constant state of awareness and worry.  Boo!
8. I don't believe those people who say they died, went to heaven and came back.  Look people, the brain reacts to trauma in crazy ways.  You saw a bright light, saw your loved ones and they told you it wasn't your time yet...you felt weightless and perfect...Trauma and morphine perhaps...
9. I want to live in the moment so bad!  It is hard to do.  My biggest daily challenge is adhering to this concept.
10.  I care way to much about what people think.
11.  I think Republicans are somewhat heartless, greedy and selfish.  Didn't Christ teach us to feed and clothe the poor.  The playing field isn't even, never has been.  Some folks are lazy, true that, but Christ didn't give us the right to make that judgement, he just said feed and clothe them.  NOW practice what you preach and share your good fortune based on your privleged status.  If the greedy and powerful practiced what they preached, there wouldn't be such a great need for government intervention.
12. I have strong political opinions.  (see #11)
13.  I am learning that open-mindedness is essential to attain peaceful resolutions.  The world is full of all kinds of people, for a reason.  If done correctly, we should all balance each other out.  Sadly, there is no balance....yet.
12. I want to travel to Italy and introduce my little boys to their "familia" there.
13. These confessions are for the sole purpose of entertaining Sue, and keeping my spirit alive after I am gone.  :)

2 comments:

Lisa said...

I love these! Sadly, I find myself agreeing with #2. The thought of returning to social work gives me the feeling of being the sole salmon- swimming upstream! It hurts my feeble mind these days!

Suzy J said...

I love you to bits and pieces! So will your kids when you are a billion and you die! They will have this forever and ever to see where they came from and what made their mommy tick! When they are counting their ceiling fan corners they will feel normal and ok! You are amazing! I pretend that we are greek too and that when we all get together their is no drama or drugs. :) I love you I love you I love you!