Judge Not!

So my 2 1/2 year old LOVES pacifiers.  He is borderline obsessed with them.  With Matt and I as his parents it is not surprising that he is a little intense and has obsessions.  Anyway, we have heard so many people, including family comment that they are not good, they lead to teeth problems, blah, blah, blah.  Matt and I generally ignored everyone.  But we did work on it with him, slowly limiting his usage of the "binks."  Currently, he only has them at nap and bedtime.  They stay on his bed and never leave the safety and comfort of his bedroom.

So the other night I asked Rocco if he is ready to throw the binks in the trash.  He casually says, "yes" and saunters downstairs and tosses them in...like it was nothing.  Then he announced, "I'm big now!"  Wow, that was easy!  NOT!

The next two days proceeded to be the most difficult and stressful days we have had since Rocco was sick at about 2 months old.  He screamed, cried, threw things, slammed doors and looked in the trash over and over again for his beloved "binks"  Each time to be reminded that he threw them away.  I talked him through it, I acknowledged his feelings, I tried to replace the binks with other forms of comfort, such as blankets, pillow pets and stuffed "friends."  I held him while he cried and then finally after two hours he fell asleep out of exhaustion.  He wouldn't nap and spent his days tired and angry...The next night, after expressing all his anger he just stopped and looked at me and said, "Mommy, I feel sad."  Don't get me wrong, sadness is natural and normal and it needs to be felt and experienced.  It is part of being human.  But, when it can be avoided, why invite it in?  So I asked myself, why am I  doing this?  What harm are these items doing to my little boy...the only harm at this point is that my son is in distress because he doesn't have them.  And I realized that I was doing this to avoid the criticism of others that don't even intimately know my son and his personality.  I was doing it to appease the pediatrician who doesn't see how the absence of them causes a broken heart.  At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what "people" think.  It matters that my son feels safe and secure and happy.

Currently, my little Rocco is napping happily in his bed with his bink for the first time is 3 days.  I am looking forward to having my happy little boy back.  All things will pass in time, he will dispose of them when he is good and ready and I will never again force anything on him that will cause such stress.  He is an individual after all, and my job is too keep him safe and love him and help him to be the person that he is, naturally.