Ok, here's the thing with me. I am constantly trying to figure things out. Make some peace with the world that I find so disturbing on so many levels. I need a philosophical chat session...I have heard and read from religious sources that education and intellect can block the heart from feeling faith and hope. But that offends me because I know that my heart is not blocked and that it is what drives my internal conflicts. It is my concern for the suffering and the oppressed that directs my inquiries and my desire for answers. It is distressing for me to read on the news that a mother in Somalia watched her baby starve to death and had to bury it on the side of the road. It breaks me down...and it makes me angry. Why isn't the world in an uproar? Especially a religious world that claims to believe in the tenets of love and charity. I know that some people are doing something. I wish I could do more...but the philosophical question remains...why? I talked to a friend about this question and she said, there can't be a why, it just is and that is all that makes sense because if there is a why then I don't want to know that God. (that is paraphrased) But the point is there and what she said resonated with me. I have heard people say, I don't know why but I believe that the reason will be revealed to me.... I guess it's easy to say that when it isn't you suffering. So, why are certain prayers answered and not others? Why do some get an answer to a simple question of should I take this job or that one but a mom begging for food to feed her starving child gets nothing and watches it die in her arms. Is it not arrogant to think that "God" is so concerned with your petty request...? If I prayed I could certainly NOT pray for myself...so today this is where I am. We are born and we are here and the circumstances we find ourselves in are pure chance, there is no such thing as luck or fate or predestination...ours paths are directed by our choices and we just have to do the best we can. Amen.
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