Graduation and family visits...

He graduates! 

Enjoying opening his graduation gift...

My Aunt...with baby Mackenzie...I had not seen my Aunt in over 20 years...we re-connected on FB and she came to VA. for DeAndre's graduation...love her!

My niece Jenny with her precious baby girl...I bonded with that baby and miss her so!  

Every trip to the Museum of Natural History in DC ends in a picture of this guy...the boys LOVE him...so here he is...enjoy...?

Isn't she lovely?  A truly beautiful person and momma!  So grateful that she flew across the country with 3 kids to see us!

This sweet, sweet baby...

Sisters!  Kaydence and Baby Mac!

Caleb is all smiles!

Enjoying family...

Beauties!

Radford visit...college already?!

Totally enjoyed DeAndre's graduation as we were able to share it with family that we haven't seen in years....our boys met some of their cousins and got to experience the joy that comes with live-in playmates...and maybe some of the trauma!  Little Roman, used to being the baby...took issue with Mackenzie...upon her arrival as she stared at him with her bright blue eyes in curiosity...he yells..."Ah, tell that little kid to stop looking at me."  For the rest of their time, Roman recoiled at the sight of her...closing his eyes and demanding she stop looking at him...why we would ask...why don't you want her to look at you...she is curious we explained, trying to learn about the world and so she observes everything..."well she gives me the creepes (pronounced CREEP-ESSS)"  I apologized over and over for his behavior...feeling so bad that he was creeped out by this precious girl...and still we tried...Jenny and I at one point telling him that she really likes him...because sure enough anytime he was in the room her eyes made her way right to him...so she wanted to see what he was doing...he sighs and says, "Let me do this AGAIN, (he looks at his hands and points to each finger as he says these words), "NO BABIES ALLOWED IN THIS HOUSE."  I am sure that someday, the two of them will be the best of friends!  

What is happening...?

Overwhelmed...this is possibly the craziest year of my married life..4 fluid kids moving in and out and up and down...so many changes have my head spinning...and often this profound sadness settles in and hangs over my head at all I say goodbye to this year.  My son...as he graduates from high school and moves on to college...my baby Rocco as he leaves the safety of my arms and the peace of home, where whatever he is..is loved and embraced and on into the world of school...where he must navigate so much more and I hope...hope so hard that we have instilled enough confidence, enough guts, enough bravery to come home feeling whole after he enters the world away from us...and Olivia as she struggles to find her place in the world...her sweet soul trying to find that place that feels like home.  Looks like Arizona might be that place and so I cling to whatever time I have with her...for this year might be the year she flies off on her own...who decided kids must leave the "nest?'  Roman is still home with me...demanding he's not a baby and changing from little boy to big boy...I so badly want to call him baby, even as he tells me no...and tell him to just be...just be you little Roman.  Perfect little you...as I whisper baby so he doesn't hear me...so many changes.  All that I am, is mom, it has defined me for more than half my life.  I embraced it from the beginning and loved it..because I adored so completely the little souls that looked at me with their big lovely eyes...looked at me and to me for everything.  Such joy...such love...how do I even begin to imagine leaving my son in a dorm room...all the joy that goes with him overwhelms me.  Sad...sad...sad...I am so not ready for that day...the thought of it causes me to feel this panic like nothing I have felt before.  Does he have any idea what he means to me?  Does she?  I hope so...I hope that they are filled with self love because of how I have loved them.

We bought a beautiful home...in Virginia....I love my house...I love that I have a place for my kids to call home.  I love feeling settled and being surrounded by the beauty of Loudoun County...but we are in Virginia...still...sometimes it takes my breath away and I feel like I'm suffocating.  I miss my friends.  Just miss them.  There is nothing like the comfort of friends...feeling at peace with people that really know you and love you anyway and just love you.  So my hope is that this year settles into a rhythm of joy and the assurance that we are in the right place...even if it's just for a time.   And I remember that they do come home...even if only for a holiday or a long weekend or a summer...they do come home...there's no place like home.  Oh, and may they always know how much I want them to come home...So behind on this blog...

Park time with my little loves

His favorite lunch!  Grilled cheese as only the bowling alley can do!

Mommy had to add sparkly eggs!

Easter colors...

My big and little..a rare sighting of them together...

I love how they love...

Mommy...take pictures of me!

Pottery painting...concentration.

Mommy, how does this look?

Bubbles!

Cooling off on a HOT day!  I was melting!

You look awesome RoRo!

Kindergarden check-up!  Being brave!

Time to bat!

Coach "dad" helping!

Run Rocco!

Pizza party!

The assistant coach enjoying pizza with his team.

Daddy cuddles

Preschool Graduation party...with friend Brody.

Eating my bagel...yet refusing to share that Brownie!

Rocco and cousin Kaydence!

Little dolls!

Nothing as fun as cousin sleepovers!

This duo didn't make it through the night...

That face...melts me.